Motivation | Why it’s okay to travel solo

Travel as much as you can, as far as you can, as long as you can.  Life’s not meant to be lived in one place.


Paris

Paris, France


I always romanticized travel.  I imagined one day traveling the world with that special someone.  That we would stroll through the streets of Paris, eat gelato in Italy, and experience the monuments of Rome together.  I imagined that one day I would travel the world, and that ‘one day’ it would be with that special someone.  Yet, I find myself in a point in time where that one day has not yet arrived.  So I have to ask the question, does my decision to travel and experience the world really hinge on finding that special someone?

Growing up, I was taught that travel was a luxury.  That travel was something that you got to do when you were well settled in your life.  Perhaps, this is what helped to shape my romanticized idea.  I guess I equated being married with being well settled in my life.  But yet, here I am, without that special someone and I find myself with this longing to experience the world!

So I took a leap of faith.  I mean, what was I really waiting for?  I decided that I let too much of my life pass without experiencing the moments.  I came upon a crux.  Perhaps a quarter life crisis?  I like to think of it more as wise thought.  I took a friend up on an offer to take a trip to Thailand.  Maybe it was a crazy whim, but if I was going to go out of my comfort zone, I was going to go big.  I knew that by taking that trip to Thailand, life was about to happen.  A second thought didn’t even cross my mind.

Don’t think twice about travel.  Make that commitment to take a trip.  Perhaps you are a little hesitant to go outside of your comfort zone.  Or perhaps you feel like me, where you want to share that experience with that special someone.  But just because you experience the world on your own, doesn’t mean you can’t make different memories with that someone later on.  Whatever it may be, take my advice and travel as much as you can, as far as you can.  Make memories.  Indulge in different cultures.  Experience the moments. Don’t let a longing desire eat you up inside.  You don’t know what is out there until you experience it for yourself.

Travel the world while you are able.  Live and be free.  Let life happen.


XOXO

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Motivation | Outgrowing friendships: It’s okay

I know this is silly, but I was reminiscing on a friendship past. Someone I used to consider a best friend. How just a couple of years ago we were going out, taking roadtrips, going on vacations, and now I don’t even recognize the person she’s become.  It was one of those give give give relationships. I gave my time, my emotional support, my presence, and she took.  That’s why I feel silly to be missing her friendship now. She would only really reach out when she had a problem, when she needed someone to talk to or hang out with. Like when she wanted to watch a movie but didn’t want to go alone or when she was having another one of her never ending problems with her crazy boyfriend and needed someone to talk to, I was just a phone call away.  Other than that, I never really heard from her.

The last straw was the weekend she cancelled on me for her on-again off-again crazy (ex)boyfriend.  Nothing new, sad to say.  She had invited me as her plus one to a mutual friend’s wedding during one of those off-again times.  I guess somewhere in-between they decided to be on-again, but she failed to tell me.  (Now looking back I realize she failed to tell me a lot of things.)  Then maybe a week before the wedding, when I brought up a dress I was looking to buy and the logistics of things, she told me her boyfriend was accompanying her in my place.  It definitely hurt to be uninvited to something, especially since these were plans made weeks in advance that I cleared my schedule for.  But what hurt the most was that she never told me until I brought it up to her.  As if she was thinking that as long as she avoided the situation it would just work itself out on its own.

What if I hadn’t brought anything up until the day before the event, was she not going to tell me anything until then? Was she planning to tell me in advance at all?  The message that this situation sent to me was that my time wasn’t to be valued.  That my time was not as important as hers.  If the shoe had been on the other foot, she would have thrown a fit.

I took a step back and didn’t say much to her in that moment.  I honestly couldn’t believe the person that was before me.  I realized though, that all those times I didn’t stand up for myself, I was silently saying it was okay for her to dismiss me.  After taking some time to think, I confronted her about the situation and told her how her actions made me feel.  She accused me of not being a good friend, of making her choose between our friendship and her boyfriend.  She never took accountability.

Ever since that day, I never looked at her in the same way.  I felt sorry for her for a really long period of time.  I guess I had always hoped she would change.  That she would leave the crazy boyfriend and live a happy life.  It wasn’t until I was outside of the friendship that I realized she was so negative, so critical and judgemental of everyone else, but so sensitive of anything directed at herself.

That day I exited the friendship. I realized that she didn’t want to grow with me, that we were just growing apart, and I would be okay.

I reminisced today on the good times we shared; the fun trips we did and the adventures we went on. I missed her…  I missed our friendship, or at least what I thought our friendship was.

I would be lying if I said I didn’t wish I could still call her my friend.  But then I remember why we grew apart, the reason we were no longer close. I guess we were never really that close to begin with.

It’s crazy to think how you can be so close to someone one day and then not even recognize them the next. I still see her from time to time.  She now has a new best friend.  A mutual acquaintance she used to speak so ill of.

I have no idea if she’s changed.  I’ve tried to speak with her and, while we’re cordial, I feel like she keeps me at a distance. Maybe it’s for the best.

I always say, with any relationship, you either grow together or grow apart. Why not grow together? Change is hard, no one will ever start to make a change until they want to. You can’t force someone to grow with you. You can only hope and wait. But how long should you wait? How long is too long? How can you be sure not to mix loyalty with a blind eye.

You want to believe in the good in people. That sometimes the people you’ve known the longest you think you know the best. And you talk yourself into staying in relationships because you hope that things will be different or that they’ll change.  But people won’t change until they want to; or until they find themselves in a situation in which they are forced to change.  When you find yourself outgrowing those friendships, exiting those relationships is probably for the best.

After I distanced myself from my former best friend, I found myself so much happier and lighter in spirit.  Her energy was almost draining at times when we were friends.  Every day brought a new problem, new criticism, or just drama.  Realizing that I had outgrown that friendship and finally standing up for myself gave me the courage to speak up more often.  I found myself establishing deeper and more meaningful connections with other friendships and new people.  I even made more friends!

Remember, as you grow as an individual, you will inevitably grow out of friendships. Just know that it is okay.


 

XOXO

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Motivation | Love life and it will love you back


She loved life and it loved her right back


 

image


One of the hardest lessons I ever had to learn in life was when to move on. Challenges are not easy by any means. If they didn’t test your will, they wouldn’t be considered hardships. Swallowing your pride and moving away from a situation that is not healthy or is not going anywhere shows strength. Removing yourself from the negative is probably the best thing you can do to live a more fulfilled life.  It is not a weakness by any means.

You were meant to live a happy life. You were meant to learn, create, explore, and enjoy all the wonders that life has to offer. You were not meant to be in miserable relationships or dead end jobs.  Learning when to let something go and move on isn’t a sign a weakness. In fact, it’s the opposite. It takes a lot of courage and awareness to know when something is not healthy for you and to move on.  To not let situations or people hold you back or keep you stagnant.

Haven’t you ever spent time in a situation that when you look back on you think to yourself, why didn’t you just let go of it sooner? That maybe it wasn’t worth the time and effort that you spent, it was petty, or maybe you didn’t want to let go because it was a matter of pride?

I truely believe that once you you learn how to remove yourself from negative situations/people, you learn to not lose sleep over the petty things. You start to have a better appreciation for the good. The good moments in life start to feel even better! You start to love life even more and life loves you right back.

I’m not saying that moving on is a magic solution that will make things better for your life. It’s that moving away from the negative forces you to perform some retrospect on the situation and gives you a better appreciation for the positive.  It makes the smaller things more meaningful. It will slowly start to help you realize what is most important to you, and that, in turn, gives you the strength and confidence to make better decisions. I’m telling you, once you realize what you love, it becomes easier to not let petty or negative things get in the way of your happiness.

Learn to love life. It’s waiting to love you back.


XOXO

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Motivation | Leave a Trail


Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.

Ralph Waldo Emerson


Newport Bay

Newport Bay Nature Preserve, Newport Beach, CA


Where will you leave a trail?

Ralph Waldo Emerson is one of my favorite writers. If you ever need some inspiration, considering reading Self-Reliance. 💕


 

XOXO

Motivation | Take a Little Step


A little step may be the beginning of a great journey.


Newport Bay Nature Preserve

Newport Bay Nature Preserve, Newport Beach, Ca


Do you remember when you were little and you felt like you could conquer the world?  Like anything you put your mind to you could accomplish.  If you wanted to grow up to be a superhero – you could be a superhero!  Nothing stood in your way.

I think that as time goes on, you start to become more aware of other peoples’ opinions of you and you become conscious of limitations, which hinders your potential to take bigger leaps of faith.  It’s nothing physical per say, but an emotional shift that affects you mentally.  In a way, maybe it’s negative thinking or maybe a break in your confidence or self-esteem.   But that’s all it is, a mental limitation which makes you feel a certain type of way.

Don’t let negative thoughts take up space in your mind.  You can still be a superhero! Maybe not literally fly, but you can do it in other ways.  Why stop yourself now?  Why not take that vacation, or make that move, or take that class you’ve been considering.  No one says you have to jump in all at once.  Start by getting your toes wet, then see where you go from there. “A little step may be the beginning of a great journey.”


 

XOXO