Joie de vivre
joy of living
What brings you joy?
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A good friend of mine was making fun of me about my blog name, curlsxoxo. She said, “How can you have a blog named curls and not show your curls?” And she was right. I rarely wear my hair naturally. I’ve always had a difcult time embracing it. Mainly because the comments I get and stares (I’m assuming because of my hair). Naturally, my hair is volumonous. I’ve been known to make hairdressers sweat. Growing up in the 90’s, I was on trend. Big volumonous curls lathered in gel and mouse for that wet look. I thought I was soooo cool. 😎
I started straightening it as soon as I could afford my own straightener. I was never really good with a roundbrush and blowdryer. That’s more for people with time and patience. Something that I’m consistently having to work on. Then in the late 2000’s, the evolution of the Brazilian blowout became popular in Los Angeles. It was definitely out of my price range, but luckily for me, I knew someone that would give me a friends and family discount. And that’s how my brazilian blowout obsession started. I no longer had to spend hundreds of dollars on hair gels, creams, milks, or serums. My once tedious hair routine was no longer existent. I had a new found confidence and an even sexier swag. But why give all that power to my hair? Who am I? Samson? Does all of my strength lie on my head?
No! My hair is curly and crazy and voluminous… and I love it! ❤️ It doesn’t have to be straight to give me confidence. My friend was completely right to make fun of me for the irony of my blog name. I guess I never sat down to really think about it. I still plan on styling my hair however I want, but I’ll be rocking the curls more often.
Do what makes you happy. Natural is beautiful and confidence is even sexier. Remember that your strength doesn’t lie on your head. It’s being comfortable in your own skin and paying attention to your mind and body that gives you your strength. Do you boo and rock your hair however you want it!
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Some people just LOVE drama. You know what I mean? It’s like they live for it. They try to control so much of their life, that they even attempt to control the chaos around them. They create the drama, because they want to have something to blame. A reason for why their life isn’t going the way that they hoped it would go, and they want to bring you down with them.
I tend to think of it as organized chaos. It’s like adding gasoline to a fire in measured amounts. The fire is going to ensue, but they’re the ones in control of where and how big the fire will burn. Then they just sit back and watch crying, “Woe is me!” but they don’t do anything about it. Sometimes, maybe they’re not even the cause of the fire, but they certainly don’t do anything to help.
Why do people do this? Why? Why? Why? I just don’t get it. I don’t care to get it, to be quite honest. It’s ridiculous to some extent how much effort people put into making a big deal or making a situation more difficult than it has to be.
I know you know someone like this. It’s not worth your time or energy. These people may seem really fun and interesting for a minute, but that’s all there is, just a minute of calm in an ocean of chaos.
People do this because there’s something wrong in their lives. There’s something that they are unhappy about and they lash out in other areas and at people in an attempt to feel some control over their lives. Unfortunately, for those of us around them, we turn into their collateral damage.
And you know what? In those situations it is OKAY to give zero f*#k$. Actually, it is more than okay. It is okay because it helps you to preserve your sanity. Your mental health is more important than someone else’s negativity. Don’t let other people drag you down. You don’t have to feed into their fire. Don’t let someone’s emotions consume you or take yours over. It’s just not worth it, and not giving a f*#k is completely okay.
It has definitely been quite a while since I’ve posted. Mainly because I’ve been spending more time experiencing things and not so much documenting them. My own fault for not being more proactive with my time. But, I really needed it.
I needed that time alone, to reflect and gather my thoughts, and to really just take some time to work on myself. We all really need that sometimes. This past year my life has changed so much. You never really realize how much change is occurring until you stop and reflect on how much time has actually passed. Much of the change has definitely been for the better. I definitely have gathered a lot of interesting stories and some crazy experiences, and I want to make sure to share all of that.
I really feel like I’m in a much different place. More calm with myself and more accepting of life. Let me tell you. No one’s life is easy. Everyone is drawn a different set of cards. Some more complicated than others, but different depending on the perspective. But that’s just how life goes. And that’s why it’s important for you to take some time for yourself. It’s easy to fall into a pattern and get stuck in the monotony of things. You almost forget how to think outside the box because of routine and comfort. Stepping outside of the norm is what helps ground you back into reality. It helps you to look at things from a different perspective, a different mindset, maybe a different thought process.
Different is good. Change is good because it helps you to evolve and grow as an individual. You need that growth in order to not be stagnant and to not let the gunk of every day cloud your judgement. You have to be of sound mind and sound thought to make a sound decision, if that makes any sense.
It’s okay to retreate to spend that time healing and working on yourself. You don’t have to feel guilty about it. Know that it’s completely healthy and normal, and it’s definitely more than okay.
Palace of Fine Arts, San Francisco, California
What does that mean, “to take a step without feet”? Feet provide you with stability when you walk. They aide you with movement and provide you with support. Without feet, you’d probably have a difficult time running, walking, or even standing up. It doesn’t mean that it would be impossible to do, it would just be more of a challenge.
I think that the message Rumi is trying to convey is that, “taking a step without feet” is like taking a step not knowing whether you can control the outcome. Not many people would be willing to do that. Control is a difficult thing to let go. What would be the incentive for you to do so?
It’s a scary thought if you think about it. If you were to take a step without feet, you would probably fall. But, on the the other hand, there is also a chance that you may not. Allowing yourself to be okay with that thought is difficult. To be okay with falling is not an instinctive trait. Human nature drives off of survival. It is that little voice in your head that cautions you from doing things that could potentially hurt you; physically and emotionally.
If you’ve been hurt repeatedly, your mind keeps building on that protection and your caution grows more and more. Sometimes to the point where your mind may be cautioning you too much, and you become fearful of exploring things that may actually be good for you.
While your body is only trying to help, there comes a point where you have to consciously decide, “What are the things you can control, and what are the things you should throw caution to the wind?” Making that distinction is the first step. You can’t control everything in life, but you can control your approach. It is about acknowledging and knowing that, yes, you can take a step without feet – it will be difficult, but it is not impossible. In the end, sometimes the biggest payoffs are the ones you approach without having firm grounding. The ones where you let go of life, and you take a step without feet.
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