Joie de vivre
joy of living
What brings you joy?
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A good friend of mine was making fun of me about my blog name, curlsxoxo. She said, “How can you have a blog named curls and not show your curls?” And she was right. I rarely wear my hair naturally. I’ve always had a difcult time embracing it. Mainly because the comments I get and stares (I’m assuming because of my hair). Naturally, my hair is volumonous. I’ve been known to make hairdressers sweat. Growing up in the 90’s, I was on trend. Big volumonous curls lathered in gel and mouse for that wet look. I thought I was soooo cool. 😎
I started straightening it as soon as I could afford my own straightener. I was never really good with a roundbrush and blowdryer. That’s more for people with time and patience. Something that I’m consistently having to work on. Then in the late 2000’s, the evolution of the Brazilian blowout became popular in Los Angeles. It was definitely out of my price range, but luckily for me, I knew someone that would give me a friends and family discount. And that’s how my brazilian blowout obsession started. I no longer had to spend hundreds of dollars on hair gels, creams, milks, or serums. My once tedious hair routine was no longer existent. I had a new found confidence and an even sexier swag. But why give all that power to my hair? Who am I? Samson? Does all of my strength lie on my head?
No! My hair is curly and crazy and voluminous… and I love it! ❤️ It doesn’t have to be straight to give me confidence. My friend was completely right to make fun of me for the irony of my blog name. I guess I never sat down to really think about it. I still plan on styling my hair however I want, but I’ll be rocking the curls more often.
Do what makes you happy. Natural is beautiful and confidence is even sexier. Remember that your strength doesn’t lie on your head. It’s being comfortable in your own skin and paying attention to your mind and body that gives you your strength. Do you boo and rock your hair however you want it!
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Some people just LOVE drama. You know what I mean? It’s like they live for it. They try to control so much of their life, that they even attempt to control the chaos around them. They create the drama, because they want to have something to blame. A reason for why their life isn’t going the way that they hoped it would go, and they want to bring you down with them.
I tend to think of it as organized chaos. It’s like adding gasoline to a fire in measured amounts. The fire is going to ensue, but they’re the ones in control of where and how big the fire will burn. Then they just sit back and watch crying, “Woe is me!” but they don’t do anything about it. Sometimes, maybe they’re not even the cause of the fire, but they certainly don’t do anything to help.
Why do people do this? Why? Why? Why? I just don’t get it. I don’t care to get it, to be quite honest. It’s ridiculous to some extent how much effort people put into making a big deal or making a situation more difficult than it has to be.
I know you know someone like this. It’s not worth your time or energy. These people may seem really fun and interesting for a minute, but that’s all there is, just a minute of calm in an ocean of chaos.
People do this because there’s something wrong in their lives. There’s something that they are unhappy about and they lash out in other areas and at people in an attempt to feel some control over their lives. Unfortunately, for those of us around them, we turn into their collateral damage.
And you know what? In those situations it is OKAY to give zero f*#k$. Actually, it is more than okay. It is okay because it helps you to preserve your sanity. Your mental health is more important than someone else’s negativity. Don’t let other people drag you down. You don’t have to feed into their fire. Don’t let someone’s emotions consume you or take yours over. It’s just not worth it, and not giving a f*#k is completely okay.
It has definitely been quite a while since I’ve posted. Mainly because I’ve been spending more time experiencing things and not so much documenting them. My own fault for not being more proactive with my time. But, I really needed it.
I needed that time alone, to reflect and gather my thoughts, and to really just take some time to work on myself. We all really need that sometimes. This past year my life has changed so much. You never really realize how much change is occurring until you stop and reflect on how much time has actually passed. Much of the change has definitely been for the better. I definitely have gathered a lot of interesting stories and some crazy experiences, and I want to make sure to share all of that.
I really feel like I’m in a much different place. More calm with myself and more accepting of life. Let me tell you. No one’s life is easy. Everyone is drawn a different set of cards. Some more complicated than others, but different depending on the perspective. But that’s just how life goes. And that’s why it’s important for you to take some time for yourself. It’s easy to fall into a pattern and get stuck in the monotony of things. You almost forget how to think outside the box because of routine and comfort. Stepping outside of the norm is what helps ground you back into reality. It helps you to look at things from a different perspective, a different mindset, maybe a different thought process.
Different is good. Change is good because it helps you to evolve and grow as an individual. You need that growth in order to not be stagnant and to not let the gunk of every day cloud your judgement. You have to be of sound mind and sound thought to make a sound decision, if that makes any sense.
It’s okay to retreate to spend that time healing and working on yourself. You don’t have to feel guilty about it. Know that it’s completely healthy and normal, and it’s definitely more than okay.
These past couple of weeks for me have been, for a lack of a better word, challenging. Everything from work to my personal life was eating away at me physically and emotionally. I was dealing with problems and situations at work that were trivial in hindsight but created for a toxic environment. In my personal life, things were falling apart in areas where I had no control. Nothing directly affected me, but as a friend, I was the emotional support. Situations like these individually leave the average person drained. But when it’s one thing after another on top of another, affecting both your personal and professional life, it almost becomes a test of your will.
I remember going home after a more particularly challenging day. Arriving at my house after over an hour commute, just sitting in my car thinking about the day and feeling like my will had literally been broken. I no longer felt that desire to do what was right, to deal with my coworkers or to support my friends. I was broken. Emotionally and physically. The days went on after this and it was the same routine, nothing became extremely worse but nothing really got better. Then it was Friday.
On this particular Friday I had to move boxes of files from one location to another. As I got caught up in meetings, most of my coworkers rushed out to head home at the end of the day, leaving me without a hand to help move the boxes. Since the parking lot was a bit of a ways, I loaded up everything I could into a small dolly and carried the rest while pushing along the cart. In the elevator on the way down, a random stranger looked at me and said, “You look like you could need some help. I will open the doors for you.” This stranger then went out of her way to walk to the other end of the building to hold the door so I could make my way out. After walking across the street and struggling to make it to my car, I heard someone shouting behind me, “Miss, miss, let me help you with that!” I turned around and saw that it was the parking attendant I passed by every morning. We had never had any other interaction prior to this other than a wave hello in the mornings. However, he went out of his way, running from one side of the parking structure to the other as he saw me struggling to make it to my car. Without hesitation he took the boxes out of my hands and helped me load my things. “Have a good weekend,” he said. “Thank you,” I said, “you too.”
I then sat in my car, let out a breathe of relief and a tear rolled down my cheek. These two strangers had no idea how their small acts of kindness affected me. Trying to make it back to my car juggling all those boxes, thinking about how challenging the week had been, I felt so defeated. My soul literally felt heavy.
Then, these two individuals stepped into my life, just for a brief moment, but they helped to unload not just the physical weight of the boxes, but an emotional weight as well. When it should have been my coworkers’ duty to offer me help to move these boxes, these strangers helped out of the kindness of their hearts. At that moment, my soul felt a little lighter. It gave me the strength to move forward with the rest of my day without wanting to fall apart.
Never overlook the power of kindness. You have the power to make a difference in someone’s day. Even a smile or a wave hello to a stranger can be all that they need to lift their spirits, if only for a moment.